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Monday, October 8, 2012
Monday, December 7, 2009
The Day Before Surgery
November 7, 2009:
The “Three in One” Celebration Party at our house. First, to say thank you to so many people who have been overwhelmingly supportive. Second, to celebrate my “last” chemo treatment on Nov. 10th and third, to welcome the new decade of my life! Yes, I’m a 49er – I turned 60 of the 2nd of November. This birthday had started to be one I wasn’t looking forward to. None of the others (40, 50, 55, even 59) bothered me, but this one was different. As you can imagine, however, my previous concerns now seem so trivial. Keeping the big picture in mind, from now to “whenever”, I’ll take every birthday I can!!
The week before the party was absolutely the most beautiful Tucson November weather I can remember. Temps were in the 70s & 80s, no wind or rain in sight. With 80+ guests (87 actually showed up) & plans for dinner outdoors, I was hoping the weather would cooperate. In fact, it couldn’t have been more perfect! Daytime temperature was in the mid-80s with no wind or rain. We had fires in fireplaces and didn’t need to light the heaters. By the time the party ended at 8 pm the temperature was still in the low 60s.
It was fun for Mike and I to open/read/look at all of the cards and gifts after the party, (even though you weren’t supposed to bring gifts, were you???). So sorry, I have been remiss in saying thanks for everything.
Thank you to all that attended the shin-dig. It was a wonderful show of support and love that I will never forget.
November 10,2009:
My 6th Chemo Treatment – but I prefer to call it my LAST! By now I may just be used to the horrible feeling and low blood counts, but the recoup time was only about 7-8 days, normal “yucky” feeling, but nothing significant. Just knowing that it was the last one was enough to make whatever came with it tolerable.
November 23rd:
Follow-up Pet Scan from the base of the skull to mid-thigh. This is intended to “light up” any cancer. Takes about 2 ½ hours (25 minutes in the tube).
November 24th:
Dr. Brooks, my oncologist called with the results of the Pet Scan. It was “normal” – no signs of the cancer. The chemo had done everything that it could do. The “hell” I went through had all been worth it.
The potential for this type of result, is the main reason that the doctors (and I) opted to have the chemo first, and THEN the surgery. This allowed us to track the tumor/cancer & literally watch it shrink with each chemo treatment.
As I'm sure you can all imagine, this was great Thanksgiving news, - adding to all we have to be thankful for - but doesn’t change the follow-on treatment plan.
In fact, the surgery is tomorrow (Dec. 8th @ 8:30 am), to be followed by 6 weeks (5-days a week) of radiation once I’ve healed from the surgery. I anticipate starting radiation the middle of January.
Please continue to keep me in your prayers, especially tomorrow. Mike is on vacation and will provide updates next week. His email address is: mandghawkins@comcast.net (he gets messages on his phone) or you can call or text his cell: 520-481-6556.
More later--
The “Three in One” Celebration Party at our house. First, to say thank you to so many people who have been overwhelmingly supportive. Second, to celebrate my “last” chemo treatment on Nov. 10th and third, to welcome the new decade of my life! Yes, I’m a 49er – I turned 60 of the 2nd of November. This birthday had started to be one I wasn’t looking forward to. None of the others (40, 50, 55, even 59) bothered me, but this one was different. As you can imagine, however, my previous concerns now seem so trivial. Keeping the big picture in mind, from now to “whenever”, I’ll take every birthday I can!!
The week before the party was absolutely the most beautiful Tucson November weather I can remember. Temps were in the 70s & 80s, no wind or rain in sight. With 80+ guests (87 actually showed up) & plans for dinner outdoors, I was hoping the weather would cooperate. In fact, it couldn’t have been more perfect! Daytime temperature was in the mid-80s with no wind or rain. We had fires in fireplaces and didn’t need to light the heaters. By the time the party ended at 8 pm the temperature was still in the low 60s.
It was fun for Mike and I to open/read/look at all of the cards and gifts after the party, (even though you weren’t supposed to bring gifts, were you???). So sorry, I have been remiss in saying thanks for everything.
Thank you to all that attended the shin-dig. It was a wonderful show of support and love that I will never forget.
November 10,2009:
My 6th Chemo Treatment – but I prefer to call it my LAST! By now I may just be used to the horrible feeling and low blood counts, but the recoup time was only about 7-8 days, normal “yucky” feeling, but nothing significant. Just knowing that it was the last one was enough to make whatever came with it tolerable.
November 23rd:
Follow-up Pet Scan from the base of the skull to mid-thigh. This is intended to “light up” any cancer. Takes about 2 ½ hours (25 minutes in the tube).
November 24th:
Dr. Brooks, my oncologist called with the results of the Pet Scan. It was “normal” – no signs of the cancer. The chemo had done everything that it could do. The “hell” I went through had all been worth it.
The potential for this type of result, is the main reason that the doctors (and I) opted to have the chemo first, and THEN the surgery. This allowed us to track the tumor/cancer & literally watch it shrink with each chemo treatment.
As I'm sure you can all imagine, this was great Thanksgiving news, - adding to all we have to be thankful for - but doesn’t change the follow-on treatment plan.
In fact, the surgery is tomorrow (Dec. 8th @ 8:30 am), to be followed by 6 weeks (5-days a week) of radiation once I’ve healed from the surgery. I anticipate starting radiation the middle of January.
Please continue to keep me in your prayers, especially tomorrow. Mike is on vacation and will provide updates next week. His email address is: mandghawkins@comcast.net (he gets messages on his phone) or you can call or text his cell: 520-481-6556.
More later--
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Finally, I Made a New Post
Sorry if the length of time between updates has made some of you wonder about how things are going…...but in this case “No News really IS good News”!!
October is “Breast Cancer Awareness Month”……182,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year!
One question I’ve never asked myself is “WHY ME” – but rather “Why Not Me?”
This organization is committed to providing information and education to newly diagnosed individuals with cancer and their families. The information contained in this site and in their bag is designed to help patients cope with their diagnosis, and empower them to become an active member of the treatment team. The helplessness of being a "victim" begins to diminish with this type of support.
October is “Breast Cancer Awareness Month”……182,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year!
One question I’ve never asked myself is “WHY ME” – but rather “Why Not Me?”
When I read the book, BREAST CANCER - Is it What You’re Eating or What’s Eating You?, by Susan Silberstein, PhD, the excerpt below reiterated my thoughts precisely:
“There are probably many reasons why breast cancer has risen dramatically in the United States since the early 1970’s. One of them likely involves the fact that it is also since the 1970’s that millions of women have faced the additional stress of working full time. With myriad new pressures, such as trying to please a demanding boss, going back to school, birthing and raising children, being a good spouse, keeping a home, and caring for aging parents, these women not only have too much on their proverbial plate – they just have too many plates! When and how do these women have time to take care of themselves? It is as if the breast cancer comes along to literally get their attention: “Please notice me and my needs!” WOW, was this ME or what!! Even before I read this, I said this very same thing to myself! This is likely the ONLY way I would have ever slowed down…..anyone reading this having a “light bulb” moment???
“There are probably many reasons why breast cancer has risen dramatically in the United States since the early 1970’s. One of them likely involves the fact that it is also since the 1970’s that millions of women have faced the additional stress of working full time. With myriad new pressures, such as trying to please a demanding boss, going back to school, birthing and raising children, being a good spouse, keeping a home, and caring for aging parents, these women not only have too much on their proverbial plate – they just have too many plates! When and how do these women have time to take care of themselves? It is as if the breast cancer comes along to literally get their attention: “Please notice me and my needs!” WOW, was this ME or what!! Even before I read this, I said this very same thing to myself! This is likely the ONLY way I would have ever slowed down…..anyone reading this having a “light bulb” moment???
Back in August my beloved Aunt Margie was diagnosed with cancer. We talked about her upcoming treatments and some of the reactions I had already experienced. She often told me that "we would get through this together". She was one of my biggest supporters on my journey and she had her entire church praying for me. On August 4th, she started on her own journey, but sadly, 5 days after her first chemo, she passed away on September 1st. I still hear her gentle voice of encouragement and faith. I am so blessed to have had a close relationship with her and I miss her every day.
October 18, 2009: Today was the 6th annual "Take A Hike" and benefit brunch for the non-profit organization, "BAG IT!" My daughter, Lori and my grandson, Logan went on the nature hike and I met them for the brunch. The guest speaker was David Fitzsimmons, Cartoonist for the Arizona Daily Star.
This organization is committed to providing information and education to newly diagnosed individuals with cancer and their families. The information contained in this site and in their bag is designed to help patients cope with their diagnosis, and empower them to become an active member of the treatment team. The helplessness of being a "victim" begins to diminish with this type of support.
Their slogan is: "Fight the Fear". For more information about BAG IT or to donate go to: www.bagit4u.org
Now a brief update since I last posted to the blog.
September 8th -- treatment #3 – at the ½ way point the tumor has shrunk by 50%. Does this mean that it will be near zero when my chemo is complete?? Dr. Brooks seems to be really pleased – as you might remember we weren’t even sure that the chemo would work at all.
September 29th -- treatment #4 – two thirds 2/3 finished with the chemo. I may be getting used to the side affects and reactions, because the worst affect from treatments 2, 3, and 4 has been the anemia. This is likely to continue until I complete the chemo and the “poison” is out of my system. Since it is not an iron deficiency, taking iron tablets, eating liver or green leafy vegetables won’t help. The shortage of oxygen in my blood causes my heart to race (sometimes my heart rate is as high as 128), which is followed by my lungs work harder and I get short of breath. When my legs feel like rubber, I just need to sit or lay down until everything calms down!
1.) Took the dry clothes out of the dryer, draping them over the laundry basket so they wouldn’t wrinkle.
2.) Laid down for ½ hr.
3.) Carried the basket back to the bedroom.
4.) Laid down another ½ hr.
5.) Sat in the chair & folded.
6.) Took another ½ hr to rest.
7.) Put 1/2 of the clothes away.
8.) Sat down for a few minutes.
9.) Finished putting the rest away.
It only took 2 hrs for what is normally a 10 minute task, but I was determined to get it done in the same day.
The debilitating migraines - that I experienced after chemo #1 - have tried to re-appear for a couple of days after each treatment, but I have been able to keep them under control with the Imitrex. THANK GOODNESS!!!!
Labor Day – we spent the weekend at the cabin….here I am wearing my “coonskin” cap given to me by Don and Bette Day. They had picked up on an earlier comment I made while trying on wigs: "I feel like Daniel Boone". They apparently thought that I should have one of my very own. The hat was actually quite toasty since the daytime highs on Mt Lemmon were only in the low 60’s. Being able to spend time at the cabin - even if it's just going up for the afternoon to sit on the front porch to read and look at the view (see below) - has proven to be really very peaceful and “therapeutic”.
September 8th -- treatment #3 – at the ½ way point the tumor has shrunk by 50%. Does this mean that it will be near zero when my chemo is complete?? Dr. Brooks seems to be really pleased – as you might remember we weren’t even sure that the chemo would work at all.
September 29th -- treatment #4 – two thirds 2/3 finished with the chemo. I may be getting used to the side affects and reactions, because the worst affect from treatments 2, 3, and 4 has been the anemia. This is likely to continue until I complete the chemo and the “poison” is out of my system. Since it is not an iron deficiency, taking iron tablets, eating liver or green leafy vegetables won’t help. The shortage of oxygen in my blood causes my heart to race (sometimes my heart rate is as high as 128), which is followed by my lungs work harder and I get short of breath. When my legs feel like rubber, I just need to sit or lay down until everything calms down!
1.) Took the dry clothes out of the dryer, draping them over the laundry basket so they wouldn’t wrinkle.
2.) Laid down for ½ hr.
3.) Carried the basket back to the bedroom.
4.) Laid down another ½ hr.
5.) Sat in the chair & folded.
6.) Took another ½ hr to rest.
7.) Put 1/2 of the clothes away.
8.) Sat down for a few minutes.
9.) Finished putting the rest away.
It only took 2 hrs for what is normally a 10 minute task, but I was determined to get it done in the same day.
The debilitating migraines - that I experienced after chemo #1 - have tried to re-appear for a couple of days after each treatment, but I have been able to keep them under control with the Imitrex. THANK GOODNESS!!!!
Labor Day – we spent the weekend at the cabin….here I am wearing my “coonskin” cap given to me by Don and Bette Day. They had picked up on an earlier comment I made while trying on wigs: "I feel like Daniel Boone". They apparently thought that I should have one of my very own. The hat was actually quite toasty since the daytime highs on Mt Lemmon were only in the low 60’s. Being able to spend time at the cabin - even if it's just going up for the afternoon to sit on the front porch to read and look at the view (see below) - has proven to be really very peaceful and “therapeutic”.
October 20th: The date for treatment #5 – I’m expecting the normal 6-7 “down” days as usual, but hope it’s no worse that the last 4……we’ll see. I’ve had about 12 days this cycle that were pretty good.
Some Miscellaneous Observations:
Through the first three treatments, (about 7-8 days after each treatment) my white blood counts always dropped to very low levels around 1100 to 1700. (Normal is somewhere between 10 and 15000).
One week after treatment number 4, however, ALL of my measured blood counts (white & red) were at historical low points. Fortunately by day 10, these counts had come back up considerably (although the red blood cell counts had actually dipped a little lower) and my oncologist, Dr. Brooks said that I "was out of the woods".
Unexpected good news - my hair has never fallen out COMPLETELY. Personally, I think what I’ve been left with makes me look like a cross between a Marine recruit, and a chimpanzee. My hilarious husband says “No, chimps have more hair”. While my kind, caring granddaughter Teryn, tells me I have the head of a newborn baby, with just a few “thin or bald spots” where the hair has rubbed off.
Some Miscellaneous Observations:
Through the first three treatments, (about 7-8 days after each treatment) my white blood counts always dropped to very low levels around 1100 to 1700. (Normal is somewhere between 10 and 15000).
One week after treatment number 4, however, ALL of my measured blood counts (white & red) were at historical low points. Fortunately by day 10, these counts had come back up considerably (although the red blood cell counts had actually dipped a little lower) and my oncologist, Dr. Brooks said that I "was out of the woods".
Unexpected good news - my hair has never fallen out COMPLETELY. Personally, I think what I’ve been left with makes me look like a cross between a Marine recruit, and a chimpanzee. My hilarious husband says “No, chimps have more hair”. While my kind, caring granddaughter Teryn, tells me I have the head of a newborn baby, with just a few “thin or bald spots” where the hair has rubbed off.
Fortunately, (and surprisingly) I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes. Though they seem a bit thinner than normal, they have at least won out over the chemo! I'll never complain again that my long eyelashes rub on the inside of my glasses. Back in high school I actually used to trim them with nail clippers. I know, I know -- what a curse!
This chemo part of this process will at last be coming to an end with my last (#6) treatment scheduled for Nov.10th. I am sooooo ready for this part to be over! I don't know where the summer has gone.
This chemo part of this process will at last be coming to an end with my last (#6) treatment scheduled for Nov.10th. I am sooooo ready for this part to be over! I don't know where the summer has gone.
Next, there will then be approximately 3-4 weeks before surgery (which is tentively planned for the first part of December). Following the surgery will be the 6-weeks of radiation, which will likely start sometime in January.
That's it for now. I will try to keep the blog a little more active in the future, but please don't be concerned if you don't hear anything on a regular basis. All is well, and even under the circumstances I feel like a very fortunate lady.
As always, I am reminded daily how fortunate I am to have such an incredible support group!
As always, I am reminded daily how fortunate I am to have such an incredible support group!
Monday, August 24, 2009
The "Hat Party" and Chemo #2
PREFACE:
I want to begin this post with an expression of my heartfelt gratitude to my "army of supporters". For the last three weeks, I have been overwhelmed by all the prayers, touching emails, books, cards, journals, caring phone messages, baskets of goodies, fruit arrangements and oh yes, the chocolates!
Sorry it's been so long between posts. At first, because there really was no new information to share; then later (after the second chemo), because I was just too wiped out to even sit at the computer. I’ve become very attached to my ice packs and massage chair.
Also you'll notice a very SMALL slideshow of Hat Party Pics over to the upper right side of the blog. Mike has figured out how to make it work, but says the formatting limitations of this blog won't allow the pictures to be made bigger. He claims, however, that if you think you see a pic that you recognize, and would like to see it bigger, that you can "single click" on the picture and a new page SHOULD open showing your selection (and all of the pics in the slideshow) in a larger, and easier to see presentation. Please try it, and let us know if it doesn't work - Mike is still experimenting. By the way, the pics of me show me with one of my new wigs. I don't think it looks too bad - I may just stay with the Sinead O'Connor look.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I was warned that within 2-3 weeks of my first chemo treatment, my hair would get brittle and start to fall out. On day 15 (8/12), my scalp started to feel tender & tingle. My hair was still shiny and looked healthy, but I knew it was about to happen. By 8/14 (my daughter Lisa’s birthday) I decided it was TIME……I gently brushed about 4 inch sections straight out & held them away from my head as Mike took the scissors & cut it about ½ from my scalp. Many of you won’t be surprised that I methodically placed each section of hair on a strip of packing tape to possibly later use inside of a hat as bangs or a ponytail. So, I still have MY hair – it’s just in a new location! We then went into the garage & Mike just buzzed it…..surprisingly, it was very liberating…..it had dawned on me when I was dealing with the migraines that we are meant to lose our hair because it’s the LAST thing we want to deal with when we feel like crap! I can now be ready to leave the house in about ½ hour!
Day by Day
Saturday, 8/15: I had my first "Healing Touch" energy treatment. It was very relaxing and intended to move the body’s energy in a positive way. I have a second session schedule later this week.
Sunday, 8/16: My dear friend of 24 years, Cindy Kelley (with the help of her daughter, Nicole) hosted a fabulous "Mad Hatter" Tea Party ( Alice in Wonderland). About 40-45 guests enjoyed the various flavors of tea, tea sandwiches, fruit trays, & muffins.
Mike’s cousin, Cindy who lives in Connecticut, surprised us with a 2-tier cake in the shape of a hat – complete with pink hat band and peacock feathers. My good friend, Marje provided the scones from the Chantilly Tea House. Lisa had name tags appropriately made from a deck of cards for each guest. Cindy had asked everyone to bring an inspirational quote or verse - to write on pink tags - made by a friend of Nicole’s (who I don’t even know). These all now hang from my living room "inspiration" tree. It truly IS an inspiration and I have already read them over and over.
We spent about an hour with me trying on the assortment of fun hats and scarves that everyone brought. Some were silly, others were frilly, in the mix was a "Cat in the Hat" hat, and of course, the "Mad Hatter" hat – not to mention a coonskin cap – complete with tail (because of a Daniel Boone comment I had made weeks ago while trying on wigs). It was a lot of fun…..and I’ve heard that Cindy’s idea is growing into similar parties for others around town! Cindy, you may have a new calling.
By the way, (free marketing plug to follow) Cindy has been writing screenplays with Michael Landon, Jr. for the past 10-12 years and has just finished her 3rd novel, The Silent Gift that will be published in October. (Had to plug your book!)
Monday 8/17: I opened my garage door to take my heaping trash can down to the street. Before the door had fully opened, two of my neighbors were standing outside the door ready to take it down for me! Thanks Dick & Katie, you’re awesome neighbors!
Tuesday, 8/18: Chemo treatment #2: I felt the best I’d felt since the last treatment (almost normal). Claire drove me and stayed until Ronnie came to pick me up and drive me home. My white blood count was high, (this is good) I was hydrated and ready for the "starch" (Mike got a kick out of me using this "Northeastern" type reference) to be knocked out of me! I had started taking Imitrex (for the migraines) the night before and continued throughout the day. Thankfully, it did the trick and no migraines this time!!
Wednesday, 8/19: It was also a good day……I actually showed a house in Pima Canyon , wrote and presented an offer. However, we were competing with 6 other offers so we didn’t get the house. :0(
About 3pm, I had to go back to the oncologist for my (day after) white blood shot. This shot is intended to help regenerate bone marrow damaged by the chemo, and almost immediately started causing all of my bones/joints to ache and have sudden sharp pains. We ran a few errands and didn’t get home until about 5:30pm. I was exhausted!
Thursday, 8/20: There was a wonderful balloon bouquet attached to a care package left in my driveway. The card was from "one of my support team", but I don’t know who???? I realized I probably overdid it yesterday, because all I could do was sleep.
Friday, 8/21: My dad’s 82nd birthday…. We’ll have to celebrate later – I’m still sleeping about 20 out of 24 hours -- but no nausea or migraines.
Saturday, 8/22: Mike leaves for work, and I feel a LITTLE better, (no, not just because Mike left for work, Ha Ha) but still feel like I have weights tied to my legs and arms. Boy, is my body saying, "not so fast"….it is clear that I’m no longer in charge. The tough part for me – I want to do things that I normally do, but have no energy or strength.
Sunday, 8/23: I started to "turn the corner" today. I’ve napped a little, but haven’t spent all day in bed. This is definately NOT for sissies!! It will be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life! My kittens think I’m just here spending extra time with them. They have been a great source of comfort & joy.
As I remind myself everyday - With the awesome support of all of YOU, I will beat this!
I want to begin this post with an expression of my heartfelt gratitude to my "army of supporters". For the last three weeks, I have been overwhelmed by all the prayers, touching emails, books, cards, journals, caring phone messages, baskets of goodies, fruit arrangements and oh yes, the chocolates!
Sorry it's been so long between posts. At first, because there really was no new information to share; then later (after the second chemo), because I was just too wiped out to even sit at the computer. I’ve become very attached to my ice packs and massage chair.
Also you'll notice a very SMALL slideshow of Hat Party Pics over to the upper right side of the blog. Mike has figured out how to make it work, but says the formatting limitations of this blog won't allow the pictures to be made bigger. He claims, however, that if you think you see a pic that you recognize, and would like to see it bigger, that you can "single click" on the picture and a new page SHOULD open showing your selection (and all of the pics in the slideshow) in a larger, and easier to see presentation. Please try it, and let us know if it doesn't work - Mike is still experimenting. By the way, the pics of me show me with one of my new wigs. I don't think it looks too bad - I may just stay with the Sinead O'Connor look.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I was warned that within 2-3 weeks of my first chemo treatment, my hair would get brittle and start to fall out. On day 15 (8/12), my scalp started to feel tender & tingle. My hair was still shiny and looked healthy, but I knew it was about to happen. By 8/14 (my daughter Lisa’s birthday) I decided it was TIME……I gently brushed about 4 inch sections straight out & held them away from my head as Mike took the scissors & cut it about ½ from my scalp. Many of you won’t be surprised that I methodically placed each section of hair on a strip of packing tape to possibly later use inside of a hat as bangs or a ponytail. So, I still have MY hair – it’s just in a new location! We then went into the garage & Mike just buzzed it…..surprisingly, it was very liberating…..it had dawned on me when I was dealing with the migraines that we are meant to lose our hair because it’s the LAST thing we want to deal with when we feel like crap! I can now be ready to leave the house in about ½ hour!
Day by Day
Saturday, 8/15: I had my first "Healing Touch" energy treatment. It was very relaxing and intended to move the body’s energy in a positive way. I have a second session schedule later this week.
Sunday, 8/16: My dear friend of 24 years, Cindy Kelley (with the help of her daughter, Nicole) hosted a fabulous "Mad Hatter" Tea Party ( Alice in Wonderland). About 40-45 guests enjoyed the various flavors of tea, tea sandwiches, fruit trays, & muffins.
Mike’s cousin, Cindy who lives in Connecticut, surprised us with a 2-tier cake in the shape of a hat – complete with pink hat band and peacock feathers. My good friend, Marje provided the scones from the Chantilly Tea House. Lisa had name tags appropriately made from a deck of cards for each guest. Cindy had asked everyone to bring an inspirational quote or verse - to write on pink tags - made by a friend of Nicole’s (who I don’t even know). These all now hang from my living room "inspiration" tree. It truly IS an inspiration and I have already read them over and over.
We spent about an hour with me trying on the assortment of fun hats and scarves that everyone brought. Some were silly, others were frilly, in the mix was a "Cat in the Hat" hat, and of course, the "Mad Hatter" hat – not to mention a coonskin cap – complete with tail (because of a Daniel Boone comment I had made weeks ago while trying on wigs). It was a lot of fun…..and I’ve heard that Cindy’s idea is growing into similar parties for others around town! Cindy, you may have a new calling.
By the way, (free marketing plug to follow) Cindy has been writing screenplays with Michael Landon, Jr. for the past 10-12 years and has just finished her 3rd novel, The Silent Gift that will be published in October. (Had to plug your book!)
Monday 8/17: I opened my garage door to take my heaping trash can down to the street. Before the door had fully opened, two of my neighbors were standing outside the door ready to take it down for me! Thanks Dick & Katie, you’re awesome neighbors!
Tuesday, 8/18: Chemo treatment #2: I felt the best I’d felt since the last treatment (almost normal). Claire drove me and stayed until Ronnie came to pick me up and drive me home. My white blood count was high, (this is good) I was hydrated and ready for the "starch" (Mike got a kick out of me using this "Northeastern" type reference) to be knocked out of me! I had started taking Imitrex (for the migraines) the night before and continued throughout the day. Thankfully, it did the trick and no migraines this time!!
Wednesday, 8/19: It was also a good day……I actually showed a house in Pima Canyon , wrote and presented an offer. However, we were competing with 6 other offers so we didn’t get the house. :0(
About 3pm, I had to go back to the oncologist for my (day after) white blood shot. This shot is intended to help regenerate bone marrow damaged by the chemo, and almost immediately started causing all of my bones/joints to ache and have sudden sharp pains. We ran a few errands and didn’t get home until about 5:30pm. I was exhausted!
Thursday, 8/20: There was a wonderful balloon bouquet attached to a care package left in my driveway. The card was from "one of my support team", but I don’t know who???? I realized I probably overdid it yesterday, because all I could do was sleep.
Friday, 8/21: My dad’s 82nd birthday…. We’ll have to celebrate later – I’m still sleeping about 20 out of 24 hours -- but no nausea or migraines.
Saturday, 8/22: Mike leaves for work, and I feel a LITTLE better, (no, not just because Mike left for work, Ha Ha) but still feel like I have weights tied to my legs and arms. Boy, is my body saying, "not so fast"….it is clear that I’m no longer in charge. The tough part for me – I want to do things that I normally do, but have no energy or strength.
Sunday, 8/23: I started to "turn the corner" today. I’ve napped a little, but haven’t spent all day in bed. This is definately NOT for sissies!! It will be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life! My kittens think I’m just here spending extra time with them. They have been a great source of comfort & joy.
As I remind myself everyday - With the awesome support of all of YOU, I will beat this!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
7 Days After First Chemo
Just a little preface if you don't mind. And oh by the way - sorry for this post being so long. For those that know me, you of course realize that I could take 10 minutes, and 1000 words to convey that "The house is on fire, and you need to leave".
To start, let me again say thanks to all of the well wishers. Whether accomplished by phone, email, or blog comments, all of the support shown to Glenda has been incredible and greatly appreciated. Whichever form each of you chose to use, please NEVER underestimate the positive impact it has had on both of us, and particularly Glenda.
Having been on the other side of this "cancer" thing very recently (a close friend passed away from lung cancer about two months ago), Glenda and I both know and can appreciate the feelings of inadequacy you might be experiencing as you try to express your love and support. I'm fairly sure that you think words just aren't enough. Trust me, we now know that each and every one of those expressions are magical, and tremendously uplifting!!! They do help the healing process. By all means, please feel free to continue if and when you choose.
Coming up on a month since the initial news, we are now starting to actually wrap our heads around the diagnosis, treatment plan, and most of the possible future considerations. But yeah, the first three weeks or so were incredibly scary. I mean when you hear a Doctor say the big "C", it's pretty tough to deal with at first. You watch this exchange take place hundreds of times on TV and the movies, but hearing it in real life is completely different.
By now, however, we really do anticipate a positive outcome, and we both believe with all of our heart and mind that everything is going to be ok. The statistics are in our favor, and we are convinced that we literally have the best doctors available. Most importantly, God has been, and will continue to be an enduring rock for both of us. Prayer is proving to be an incredibly powerful tool.
To close this little intro, both of us know that most of you have had the misfortune to have experienced cancer yourselves - either first hand, or within your "family and friends" group at an earlier time. And we realize the devastating impact the experience can have on everyone involved, even if it eventually ends well. Please know that we are NOT trying to make Glenda's situation more significant, or more special. This blog is simply an available tool (not even available in the not too distant past) that allows us to:
Well, one week down, and Glenda is probably about 80%. By the time I got home from a trip on Sunday afternoon she was beginning to feel better. (by the way I didn't WANT to leave, but for some strange reason, Glenda needed me to go to work - apparently I was hovering way too much). Can you imagine??????????
To those of you who actually talked to her last week, you know just how bad she sounded, at least through Friday. As of today, however, although still pretty tired, she's generally much, much better. We are hopeful that this general chronology will be close to the same for the future treatments, as knowing what to expect really does help a lot.
By far, Glenda's worst post-treatment side effect was the chemo induced migraines. By Friday of last week, the intensity was the highest she had ever had, and she was ALMOST to the point of going to the ER. The imatrex did help, but the dosage/number of pills were too low, and there turned out to be some insurance issues, that are hopefully now resolved. We are optimistic that she can get ahead of this thing prior to the next treatment.
Note: To all of you that she didn't respond to last week, she wants you to know that reading any type of text was just not possible for her while the pain was at it's highest. If you don't actually hear back from her, please know that she will read everything in the coming days.
To start, let me again say thanks to all of the well wishers. Whether accomplished by phone, email, or blog comments, all of the support shown to Glenda has been incredible and greatly appreciated. Whichever form each of you chose to use, please NEVER underestimate the positive impact it has had on both of us, and particularly Glenda.
Having been on the other side of this "cancer" thing very recently (a close friend passed away from lung cancer about two months ago), Glenda and I both know and can appreciate the feelings of inadequacy you might be experiencing as you try to express your love and support. I'm fairly sure that you think words just aren't enough. Trust me, we now know that each and every one of those expressions are magical, and tremendously uplifting!!! They do help the healing process. By all means, please feel free to continue if and when you choose.
Coming up on a month since the initial news, we are now starting to actually wrap our heads around the diagnosis, treatment plan, and most of the possible future considerations. But yeah, the first three weeks or so were incredibly scary. I mean when you hear a Doctor say the big "C", it's pretty tough to deal with at first. You watch this exchange take place hundreds of times on TV and the movies, but hearing it in real life is completely different.
By now, however, we really do anticipate a positive outcome, and we both believe with all of our heart and mind that everything is going to be ok. The statistics are in our favor, and we are convinced that we literally have the best doctors available. Most importantly, God has been, and will continue to be an enduring rock for both of us. Prayer is proving to be an incredibly powerful tool.
To close this little intro, both of us know that most of you have had the misfortune to have experienced cancer yourselves - either first hand, or within your "family and friends" group at an earlier time. And we realize the devastating impact the experience can have on everyone involved, even if it eventually ends well. Please know that we are NOT trying to make Glenda's situation more significant, or more special. This blog is simply an available tool (not even available in the not too distant past) that allows us to:
- keep our family and friends updated in a fairly simple way, and to
- inform and educate any/all of you on what YOU might expect if YOU, or someone close to you has to travel down this frightening path sometime soon.
Okay, enough of the blubbery emotional stuff. I won't cover it again.
On with the update.Well, one week down, and Glenda is probably about 80%. By the time I got home from a trip on Sunday afternoon she was beginning to feel better. (by the way I didn't WANT to leave, but for some strange reason, Glenda needed me to go to work - apparently I was hovering way too much). Can you imagine??????????
To those of you who actually talked to her last week, you know just how bad she sounded, at least through Friday. As of today, however, although still pretty tired, she's generally much, much better. We are hopeful that this general chronology will be close to the same for the future treatments, as knowing what to expect really does help a lot.
By far, Glenda's worst post-treatment side effect was the chemo induced migraines. By Friday of last week, the intensity was the highest she had ever had, and she was ALMOST to the point of going to the ER. The imatrex did help, but the dosage/number of pills were too low, and there turned out to be some insurance issues, that are hopefully now resolved. We are optimistic that she can get ahead of this thing prior to the next treatment.
Note: To all of you that she didn't respond to last week, she wants you to know that reading any type of text was just not possible for her while the pain was at it's highest. If you don't actually hear back from her, please know that she will read everything in the coming days.
Yesterday, (Monday) we met Glenda's radiology oncologist, Dr. Croghan. She works in the same facility, and for the same medical group as Dr. Brooks the chemo guy. (We think this will work to Glenda's advantage throughout the process). Dr. Croghan was without a doubt the most patient, kind, caring, empathetic health professional that we've met yet. She sat with us for over 30 minutes and discussed anything and everything. Including:
- the radiation treatments to come probably in the late Nov/early Dec timeframe (after the chemo and surgery)
- objective opinions on single vs. double mastectomy
- expected radiation side effects like tiredness, red skin, loss of elasticity
- info on future reconstruction choices, potential problems, realistic expectations, etc.
- she actually found/identifed the tumor itself, which previously, had not been successfully accomplished by other doctors.
- for the FIRST time we saw the actual mammogram films in a chronological order for the last two years or so. You could actually see the progression of the tumor growth. In fact you could see it so clearly that we can't help but wonder (even though it's not productive to the cause NOW) why it wasn't identified earlier. Admittedly hindsight is 20/20, and we had the advantage of knowing it was there of course.
The point to be made here for the women readers, is that in the future when you go over the results of your mammogram with your individual OBGYN's, demand that they actually do a "contrast and compare" with earlier films.
Glenda truly has no bitterness about this. She loves and trusts her OB/GYN (of 35 years). I have met her as well, and she is an incredibly caring and involved physician. Who knows"? Maybe a regressive comparison WAS accomplished. These things just happen sometimes.
Anyway, we walked out of Dr. Croghan's office with a renewed sense of optimism and strength. She was incredible.
Today, we got up at 4 a.m., and headed to the hospital (TMC) for the surgical implant of the "porta-cath". Mentioned briefly before, this "porta-cath" was the STRONGLY recommended procedure whereby a small incision is made in the upper chest area, and into which a catheter is placed. This access point is intended to allow much easier access for future chemo, blood work, medication etc.
Instead of going under general anesthesia, Glenda opted for a local combined with another drug that basically made her very sleepy. (We have always been told to minimize general anesthesia as much as possible). The procedure went well EXCEPT that the intended vein - positioned right under her left collar bone - was apparently too "dry" and therefore un-usable. So, the port opening was instead positioned fairly low down, on the left side of her neck. Who knows all of the ramifications of this, but we're being told this re-location doesn't present any out-of-the-ordinary problems.
Home about 10:30 with some pain meds, and ice packs. She is sore, and sleepy, so the rest of the day will be very low profile. Physically, however, she just told me that she feels the best she has since the chemo treatment.
Tomorrow is her scheduled follow-up with the Chemo doctor to have her white blood cell levels checked. They were very low this morning, and we can only hope that observed levels tomorrow won't impact the scheduling of her next chemo. We are guessing it will be around the 18th, and she wants it all done as soon as possible - as you can imagine. She is really glad to be feeling better. Maybe she'll have a couple of fairly normal weeks, before it all starts again. She is being very strong.
I think this version of War and Peace brings you all up to speed as of today. More to follow when there is more to follow.
Thanks again for all the love and prayers.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Glenda's First Actual Post to the Blog
Hi everyone....This is my first actual post to the blog. Not a LOT of new stuff really, but I wanted to try writing something myself.
The past 3 weeks have been fast & furious so I've run out of time to as personal with this message as I wanted. I was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer -- as you can imagine, it's been a whirlwind ever since ! Everything happens for a reason and I think mine is to remind as many as possible that only about 80% of breast cancer is detected on mammograms or sonograms (I fall in that 20%). Although I faithfully do my annual doctor's visits, exams & screenings in addition to being told repeatedly that nothing had changed and I was fine, I just couldn't let it go -- I just knew, somehow.
We want to believe everything is okay, but all need to listen to our bodies and be our own advocate. I found this myself inspite of clear mammograms, sonograms & MRIs. The Pet scan (fortunately) confirmed my suspicions and I've already had my first chemo treatment this week.
Today is day two (after treatment) although I'm still fighting the residual migraine from the treatment, feeling very tired, & some joint aches from the "white cell booster shot" yesterday, I'm doing pretty well....no nausea so far! What a plus! By next week I should be feeling more normal for a couple weeks until the next treatment (which will be every 3 weeks). It may knock me down for a few days each time, but hopefully not put me out of commission for long. I want to try as much as possible to maintain a sense of normalcy.
This has definitely slowed me down temporarily, and has given me a new focus -- I'm taking time to "regroup" and will do what I need to do to be healthy again. I'm prepared for the entire process to be completed and be "pieced back together" with the next 10-12 months ... I plan to work when I can and feel up to it; say "no" or ask for help when I need it, and have more time for ME. My new full-time job right now is to get well.....I plan to be 100% as soon as possible.
I would imagine that this will be the last post for a while, as I doubt anything of extreme importance will come up until maybe the next chemo treatment. We will let you all know.
As Mike & I have already said probably 2000 times already, everyone's positive comments, prayers and support has been wonderful and incredibly helpful to the cause. You all have our heartfelt, and lifelong thanks and appreciation.
Much Love to You All,
Glenda
P.S. DO AN "OBJECTIVE" SELF EXAM TODAY - NOT TOMORROW, TODAY!!!!!!
The past 3 weeks have been fast & furious so I've run out of time to as personal with this message as I wanted. I was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer -- as you can imagine, it's been a whirlwind ever since ! Everything happens for a reason and I think mine is to remind as many as possible that only about 80% of breast cancer is detected on mammograms or sonograms (I fall in that 20%). Although I faithfully do my annual doctor's visits, exams & screenings in addition to being told repeatedly that nothing had changed and I was fine, I just couldn't let it go -- I just knew, somehow.
We want to believe everything is okay, but all need to listen to our bodies and be our own advocate. I found this myself inspite of clear mammograms, sonograms & MRIs. The Pet scan (fortunately) confirmed my suspicions and I've already had my first chemo treatment this week.
Today is day two (after treatment) although I'm still fighting the residual migraine from the treatment, feeling very tired, & some joint aches from the "white cell booster shot" yesterday, I'm doing pretty well....no nausea so far! What a plus! By next week I should be feeling more normal for a couple weeks until the next treatment (which will be every 3 weeks). It may knock me down for a few days each time, but hopefully not put me out of commission for long. I want to try as much as possible to maintain a sense of normalcy.
This has definitely slowed me down temporarily, and has given me a new focus -- I'm taking time to "regroup" and will do what I need to do to be healthy again. I'm prepared for the entire process to be completed and be "pieced back together" with the next 10-12 months ... I plan to work when I can and feel up to it; say "no" or ask for help when I need it, and have more time for ME. My new full-time job right now is to get well.....I plan to be 100% as soon as possible.
I would imagine that this will be the last post for a while, as I doubt anything of extreme importance will come up until maybe the next chemo treatment. We will let you all know.
As Mike & I have already said probably 2000 times already, everyone's positive comments, prayers and support has been wonderful and incredibly helpful to the cause. You all have our heartfelt, and lifelong thanks and appreciation.
Much Love to You All,
Glenda
P.S. DO AN "OBJECTIVE" SELF EXAM TODAY - NOT TOMORROW, TODAY!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Three Issues:
1. Glenda's first chemo yesterday went well (other than taking much longer that we thought it would). She is recovering well today, except for tiredness and lethargy associated with the migraine headache medication Imitrex. She has a history of migraines, and the chemo seems to intensify them. SO FAR, NO NAUSEA THANK GOODNESS.
We are off shortly for her to get a shot to boost her white blood cell count.
1 treatment down, 5 to go.
2. Many viewers of the blog are (like me), new to the process. As a result, many are telling us through phone calls, and direct emails, that they would love to make a COMMENT to any/all of the POSTS, but don't know how.
Don't feel bad, it can APPEAR to be difficult at first.
Please don't let this keep you from making COMMENTS though. You do not have to join Google to make a comment.
Below, I've listed a step by step review of how to make a comment. Once you try it, it should become more clear, and Glenda greatly enjoys reading the comments.
To leave a comment find the post to which you wish to comment, and:
We are off shortly for her to get a shot to boost her white blood cell count.
1 treatment down, 5 to go.
2. Many viewers of the blog are (like me), new to the process. As a result, many are telling us through phone calls, and direct emails, that they would love to make a COMMENT to any/all of the POSTS, but don't know how.
Don't feel bad, it can APPEAR to be difficult at first.
Please don't let this keep you from making COMMENTS though. You do not have to join Google to make a comment.
Below, I've listed a step by step review of how to make a comment. Once you try it, it should become more clear, and Glenda greatly enjoys reading the comments.
To leave a comment find the post to which you wish to comment, and:
- To the right of the post itself, listed underneath the words "Blog History of Entries" you'll see the opening words of all of the posts - most recent on top.
- click on the text that you'd like to comment on
- A new screen opens containing all comments made by anyone PRIOR to you
- AT THE BOTTOM of all , there will be a text box
- Make your comments in the text box
- Select a profile/identity by clicking on the drop down box
- you can select Anonymous if you don't wish to be identified
or you can select the name/URL choice where you can put in any name/nickname of your choice. YOU CAN JUST USE A NAME. A URL IS NOT REQUIRED. - you can make comments on, OR monitor the comments on each POST individually
Try making a comment using these directions, and see if it works for you. If it doesn't, or you'd rather not mess with it - not a problem. You can continue to read the Blog, and then just email Glenda or I directly with anything you'd like to share.
3. Sorry to all, but all the comments made to the previous post were inadvertantly deleted. If you'd like, and have the time, free to make your comments again.
Thanks for you patience & Thanks again for all the support.
Mike
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